I don’t know how else to describe it other than my brother isn’t here - he doesn’t exist anymore - any everything is just… continuing. The bit in my head that mentally tells me where the people who are important are is just blank for him and the world keeps trying to pretend that’s normal.
Nothing should be allowed to continue until he is back. Until it is back to normal.
One of my consistent nightmares has always been either of my brothers being hurt. In the dream I would try to stop it and usually the anger, fear, or just sheer futility of not being able to would jolt me awake.
There is something different now - a reverse - where I wake up to a world where the worst has already happened. And every day in the moment of waking I have to re-remember it’s happened, and realise, and reabsorb the horror and finality of it. And it’s so, so much worse.
Every day consists of waking up, crying, doing the 3 saddest tasks I’ve ever done until that point in my life, and then trying to sleep, before starting all over again.
Sweet and stupid and wonderful.
Artwork for recent music releases by Scuba
Gosh, I love this. After some event, a space torus lies abandoned and abundant, a lo-fi space terrarium. From the thousands of mall speakers literred around its quiet forecourts and pools tinkle chill beats, interrupted only by the sounds of tropical birds and the occasional skeleton gently collapsing into its still grasped cocktail.
“I don’t think these prepper billionaires are aspiring to live in the world depicted in the Walking Dead because they’re horrible people. Or at least not just because they’re horrible people. They’re simply succumbing to one of the dominant ethos of the digital age, which is to design one’s personal reality so meticulously that existential threats are simply removed from the equation. The leap from a Fitbit tracking your heart rate to an annual full-body cancer scan or from a doorbell surveillance camera to a network of autonomous robot sentries is really just a matter of money. No matter the level of existential security, the Netflix shows we stream are the same.”
“Every act of knowing brings forth a world”
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